Scared to Death
N.B., I wrote this while still living on the West Coast, on Wild and Radish Farm, before I moved to Vermont. Last night I awoke from a nightmare in which I was nowhere and knew nobody…there was a sad and frightened man I brought to the ocean; a moaning girl in a...
Guardian Angels
Last night, the night after the lunar eclipse, I had a dream of being in a crowd of people somewhere and being approached by a dark-haired woman in a white blouse. I did not know her, but she put her arm around me as if she knew me well, and I felt safe with her by my...
THIS AMERICAN LIFE
for Rudolf Wagner, in memoriam There is a YouTube now making its way around the Internet of a blindfolded young Muslim fellow on a streetcorner in New York with a sign that says, “I am Muslim. If you trust me, please give me a hug.” He cannot see those who pass him...
On Listening
I’ve spent the last few days on silent retreat in the country with my eyes closed, mostly listening. There are very few human sounds out here except for the occasional car arriving, so nature’s ‘biophony’ is clear to be heard, especially at dawn and dusk when the...
My Birthday Message to Everyone
Hello, my family, friends, neighbors, community… Here is my offering to you in the month of my 86th birthday. I figure this is a pivotal moment in history, as well as a turning point in my own life, and I’d like to pass on to you a magical gift that was given to me...
Walls
I live at the cul de sac of a road that ends in forest, in a wood-framed Priory that once housed six Catholic priests, but not anymore. My own rooms, I would guess, were once used for visiting clergy because they look out onto an impressive lawn, but the...
Einstein and Me
Years ago, being shown around the Lick Observatory and mesmerized by the big dome, especially where it opened to reveal a portion of the night sky, I got separated from my group when they moved on to the computer rooms, and I got left by myself—accidentally on...
On the Spectrum
When I was seventeen and studying at Deerwood for the summer, I met Eric, an unusual fellow, a violinist, who decided we were meant for each other, and would not leave me alone. At first it was flattering, but after he composed a string quartet for me and then...
FRIENDING
FRIENDING Many years ago, fed up with a few friends who tended to be around when they needed something, but not otherwise, I decided to give them a test: I would ask each one for some kind of help and see who came through, and who did not. Those who said Yes,...
The Fungus Among Us
THE FUNGUS AMONG US Before he died of AIDS in1992, the botanist Jim Hickman and I loved to wander in the redwoods around the Northern California coast, searching for fungi emerging from old trees and forest duff and for trilliums blooming in early Spring. Jim was a...
